4:35 am

Of course I am awake and Annie is fast asleep, that is the irony of motherhood...

Yesterday was a heck of a day. Annie and I went to her doctor's appointment at 10:40. The doctor's office was moving horribly slow, so we didn't get out of there until like 11:40. Annie weighs 12 lbs 13 oz. Less than I expected and still in the 25 percentile. I'm hoping this just means that she will be naturally slim, unlike me. Turns out that in addition to the cold she has had for the past week or so Annie has a ear infection, yuck!! I feel really guilty about this, but the doctor said it was just a complication of her cold. I've got to start giving her an antibiotic this morning twice a day for the next ten days. Then came the shots, one in each leg! She was sensitive all day about her poor little thighs.

After lunch we met Angel for lunch at Chilli's and went to see her new apartment. It was great to see and talk to her, it had been too long.

Then for dinner we went over to my mom's house. Mom said that she had not had enough Annie playtime this week, so we had to go make up some time. We came home and I was in bed by 9. First night in a week that I slept in my own bed. Eric slept on the couch until 4, but couldn't take it anymore so we switched and now I'm on the couch again, but 7 hours is a plenty for me, so I'm probably up for the rest of the day.

I hope Annie is better tomorrow. I feel so bad for her. I don't want her to be sick. I feel very guilty for giving her my cold and it leading to her ear infection. It just sucks. She can't even tell me that she feels bad and I have to admit that she has been a little more fussy that usual, but nothing too extreme.

We have to go to Eric's step-father's family's after-christmas christmas get-together in Stanhope today. I'm just so excited about that... in-law obligations suck.

Driving today gave me a lot of time to think about something, somethings that make me to sad for me to even write, those things are best left in my own head and heart, may one day I'll tell Eric, but that will be the extent of disclosure that those sad things deserve. I've always had my most profound thoughts when driving, it always seems to provide me some since of clarity when I'm alone (or nearly alone since Annie is with me now) in the car just focusing on where I'm going and who is around me. Which in itself has a double meaning now that I write it out and see it.

Maybe I'll try to get a little more sleep before cupcake wakes up - she's been sleeping 9 hours! Poor thing.