Motherhood...

is like the best thing ever. Never did I think that having Annie would so profoundly change me and my life. I know that everyone says that "baby changes everything". Everyone who has ever said that to me said it in a negative kind of way. Now I think that if you think that having a baby makes things change negatively, maybe you shouldn't have had a kid, but that's their own problem.

I recently read this hilarious article by McMamma, one of my all time favorite bloggers. I have to admit that I completely know where she is coming from with this, although I've only got the one kid so far, not 4 like her!!

Right after Eric and I got married, I started having this feeling that it was time for me to get pregnant and add to our family. I used to kid that my uterus was trying to overrule my brain, which obviously we see who won that round.... :)

The month before I found out I was pregnant I was tortured by pregnancy test commercials, random pregnant women at the mall, and my maternal and child health class!! Now, I'm feeling very similar feelings as friends have babies, family members announce pregnancies, and my little pookie poo gets more toddler-like and less baby-like every day.

Unfortuantly, now is not the time for us to add to our family for like a thousand reasons 1)I don't have health insurance, 2) we have no money in savings b/c I've been home with Annie for the past 14 months!, 3) Annie is still little and needs me a lot, 4) I'm in grad school and already stress like crazy!..... The reasons go on and on and on,

yet

it's hard to ignore that feeling that stirs in my soul when I see a pregnant woman or a baby

that warm fuzzy feeling that I could have that if I wanted.....

For now I will just enjoy having Annie and watching her grow...

and maybe, just maybe find a job :)